Mr. Phillips sees that the river is overflowing again, so he gets up on his roof where he's always been safe during a flood. But this time, the water seems to be rising higher than ever.
The water reaches to just a few feet of the roof when a man in a rowboat comes by. "Jump in and I'll take you to dry land." Mr. Phillips says, "no thanks. I believe in God and he'll save me." The man in the rowboat tries a few more times to convince Mr. Phillips to get into the rowboat, but no go.
The water continues to rise. Mr. Phillips inches higher up on his roof when a speedboat comes by. "Hey there!", the man in the speedboat yells out, "get in and I'll take you to dry land."
"Thanks, but no. I believe in God and I believe he'll save me." Off goes the speedboat.
The water is now rising very quickly and it's up to Mr. Phillips' waist. Fortunately a helicopter comes by and lowers a rope for our soon-to-be drowning man. Someone from inside the helicopter screams down, "Hey! The water is completely out of control, grab the rope and we'll take you to dry land."
Mr. Phillips looks down at the rapidly rising water and then looks up at the rope that is just within reach. He then yells up to the helicopter, "you go on without me, I'm good. God will save me."
A few minutes later Mr. Phillips drowns.
He finds himself at the pearly gates and demands of Peter an immediate audience with God. Peter remarks that this is not the usual custom, but he sees Mr. Phillips has been through quite a bit, so he directs him down the hall for a one-on-one.
"God," says our bewildered Mr. Phillips, "I believed in you and you let me down. I just can't understand why you did that to me."
"Well, Mr. Phillips, I sent you a rowboat, a speedboat and a chopper! Gosh darn, what else did you expect me to do?"
_______________________
Which reminds me of this one:
Joe keeps telling his friends he's going to win the lottery. He's absolutely certain he's going to win. He KNOWS he's going to win. Why? Because he believes God has sent him a divine communication stating with complete clarity that he will win the lottery.
Weeks and months go by and Joe has not won the lottery. He's getting a bit perplexed by this when he feels another divine communication occurring.
"God, is that you?"
"Yes, Joe. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I really thought you were going to come through for me on this lottery deal. I have to say, I'm getting a bit disappointed here."
"I understand, Joe. But could you meet me halfway and buy a ticket?"
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